Reposting from the wife: It'll be over soon
BTW, I'm reposting this for all of ya'll who don't have the password to her sooper-seekrit clubhouse. (Actually she just restricted her blog to invite-only. So the links in it won't work if you're not already invited. Sorry.)
Now that the people who shouldn't find out by reading it in my blog have been told, I can post that Moonwolf and I are getting divorced. We'll still be living together until the house is finished, then I'll move in there with three of the dogs, the cats, and Pierre (the cockatiel).
I don't really think there's a "good guy" or "bad guy" in this. There's just not a marriage. We aren't right for each other. It can't be fixed, either. Seven years of being married, and at least five of them have been spent on trying to fix things... it just gets worse. At this point, I just want my life back. And I honestly believe he may have a chance to get his life in better shape without me around. We just aren't good for each other.
I think the idea that all marriages should last forever is outdated. As far as relious views of marriage... well... isn't the idea that you have to stay in a miserable situation for the rest of your life kind of in contrast to the rest of Christianity? I don't think people should take getting married and divorced lightly, but if things are truly that miserable with no hope in sight, isn't God all about second chances? Setting religion aside, it just makes sense that people used to stay married. Their lives didn't change. You lived in the same town and did the same job all your life, in most cases. If you could get an education, you went ahead and did that. If you couldn't, there wasn't much chance you ever would.
Life is different now. People move, they go back to school, they change careers... If two lives don't move in the same direction, and the relationship doesn't move with them, that's a problem.
I'm different now. I'm not the person I was at 22, when we got married. I wasn't a whole person then... I couldn't stand the thought of being alone, and I felt I needed to be in a relationship to feel loved. That's just not me anymore. And I have things to do with my life that maybe I can do better on my own. They aren't getting done at all this way.
So there will be no saying the words "my ex-husband" as if talking about some lesser life form. And there will be no vindictive fighting over who gets which scrap of something that should probably just be thrown out. None of that crap... that's not what this is about.
The house needs to be finished. I need to get a website set up for selling online the things I make. (Luckily, I know how to do that part myself.) I need to... *sigh*... There's a lot that needs to be done. A lot. And, at some point, I'll probably start a new blog. I can't explain why. I can't explain the need for the fresh start. Just think of it as a notebook, I guess. You fill one up, put it away, and then you need a new one... with blank pages and the "new notebook" smell. And don't try to tell me I'm the only person who's ever sniffed a new notebook. Or any other book.
I'll stop while you still don't think I'm a freak.
I'll let you all know where to go when I start over. I'll still post the occaisional update here until then. And yes, comments are off on this post. No one ever really knows what to say in these situations, anyway.
"And even though it all went wrong, I'll stand before the Lord of Song with nothing on my tongue but, 'Hallelujah!'"
--- Leonard Cohen