Reposting from the wife: It'll be over soon

This is from my wife's blog, announcing that we'll be getting a divorce... somewhat soon. As soon as we can find out what all we need to do, gather enough money, get her stuff moved, etc. I'll post more some other time.

BTW, I'm reposting this for all of ya'll who don't have the password to her sooper-seekrit clubhouse. (Actually she just restricted her blog to invite-only. So the links in it won't work if you're not already invited. Sorry.)

So This is Being a Grown-Up? It Sucks!

Now that the people who shouldn't find out by reading it in my blog have been told, I can post that Moonwolf and I are getting divorced. We'll still be living together until the house is finished, then I'll move in there with three of the dogs, the cats, and Pierre (the cockatiel).

I don't really think there's a "good guy" or "bad guy" in this. There's just not a marriage. We aren't right for each other. It can't be fixed, either. Seven years of being married, and at least five of them have been spent on trying to fix things... it just gets worse. At this point, I just want my life back. And I honestly believe he may have a chance to get his life in better shape without me around. We just aren't good for each other.

I think the idea that all marriages should last forever is outdated. As far as relious views of marriage... well... isn't the idea that you have to stay in a miserable situation for the rest of your life kind of in contrast to the rest of Christianity? I don't think people should take getting married and divorced lightly, but if things are truly that miserable with no hope in sight, isn't God all about second chances? Setting religion aside, it just makes sense that people used to stay married. Their lives didn't change. You lived in the same town and did the same job all your life, in most cases. If you could get an education, you went ahead and did that. If you couldn't, there wasn't much chance you ever would.

Life is different now. People move, they go back to school, they change careers... If two lives don't move in the same direction, and the relationship doesn't move with them, that's a problem.

I'm different now. I'm not the person I was at 22, when we got married. I wasn't a whole person then... I couldn't stand the thought of being alone, and I felt I needed to be in a relationship to feel loved. That's just not me anymore. And I have things to do with my life that maybe I can do better on my own. They aren't getting done at all this way.

So there will be no saying the words "my ex-husband" as if talking about some lesser life form. And there will be no vindictive fighting over who gets which scrap of something that should probably just be thrown out. None of that crap... that's not what this is about.

The house needs to be finished. I need to get a website set up for selling online the things I make. (Luckily, I know how to do that part myself.) I need to... *sigh*... There's a lot that needs to be done. A lot. And, at some point, I'll probably start a new blog. I can't explain why. I can't explain the need for the fresh start. Just think of it as a notebook, I guess. You fill one up, put it away, and then you need a new one... with blank pages and the "new notebook" smell. And don't try to tell me I'm the only person who's ever sniffed a new notebook. Or any other book.

I'll stop while you still don't think I'm a freak.

I'll let you all know where to go when I start over. I'll still post the occaisional update here until then. And yes, comments are off on this post. No one ever really knows what to say in these situations, anyway.

"And even though it all went wrong, I'll stand before the Lord of Song with nothing on my tongue but, 'Hallelujah!'"
--- Leonard Cohen

Thus sayeth Phoenix Ravenflame on this sacred day: 4/21/2007 09:56:00 AM

Recent thoughts

First, my heart and prayers go out to the victims and the families of the Virginia Tech shooting yesterday, even the shooter's family. My concerns about the aftermath of this incident are probably close to those of other gun owners; the folks who want to further restrict legal gun ownership in this country will do everything they can to exploit this, and every rational, reasonable, logical argument gun owners have will either fall on deaf (ignorant) ears, or we'll be preachin' to the choir. I've been reading over at LawDog, Oscar Poppa, Anarchangel, and Blogomonicon about this, and I think they're much more eloquent about than I am.

On to other things...

I passed the CHL class last month during my State Guard weekend. I got 98% on the written test, and 241 out of 250 pts on the lab... er, shooting. Kept 'em all inside the silhouette, so no friendlies capped. ;)

I've been pondering the whole state guard/militia thing for a while. It started with a conversation between me and Phoenix a month or so ago:
Phoenix: "So what does the State Guard correspond to?"
Me (not quite understanding the question): "Ye olde village militia?"
Phoenix: "No, I mean, Army, Navy, Air Force..."
Me: "Oh, Army!"

That got me to thinking about how similar State Guard duty is to "ye olde village militia." Mainly, there's a lot of marching back and forth, with more marching, and MORE marching. Last month we got lucky and actually got to shoot our guns; I think almost every other time there won't be any. I think one of the main differences is that we only show up one weekend a month, they were supposed to show up every Sunday, after church, on the village commons or town square (at least, that's what the history books teach). We both come from the community, serve when needed locally, take our orders from the governor. Especially here in Texas, we trace back to the village militias that defended the frontier during our early years. I've come to the conclusion that for as much as the National Guard claims similar origins, since the Dick Act of 1903, they are essentially a state-recruitment level for the US Army, especially with the way the NG is being used now. Oh, wait, here it is, from Wikipedia (see above link): "(The National Defense Act of 1916) transformed the militia from individual state forces into a Reserve Component of the U.S. Army- and made the term "National Guard" mandatory." Ok, so I'm not crazy... maybe I am, but I'm not imagining this.

More to come later, now that I've cleared this outta my brain files.